I'm on an unsustainable path

When will it end?

Photo by Dillon Groves on Unsplash

I’m on an unsustainable path.

July was my second-highest spending month of the year, narrowly trailing April.

That’s a distinction I’m not proud of.

I’ve tapped into my freedom fund. I’ve sold equity positions. I’ve used side change to offset the damage.

And still, I’m on a collision course with debt.

This is not the summer I envisioned.

Most of my purchases go on a credit card so I can rack up airline points. A few essentials — like my mortgage, gas for my vehicle, electricity and my $10 monthly gym membership — are paid separately. Tracking expenses this way lets me monitor spending in real time, and each month I share my progress, for better or worse.

Well, July was worse.

Once again, “professional services” accounted for the largest category of my spending at 28 percent. It’s no surprise. I’m paying legal fees while fighting for something better. It’s the fourth straight month that it’s ranked first in my monthly spending.

At the same time, I bought a home. That’s a major milestone. It’s also a major financial commitment.

The money I’ve spent getting here — from the costs of buying the condo to the expenses that come with owning it — has put additional pressure on my cash flow. I’m building something for the future while watching money leave my accounts in the present.

And last month, another familiar financial headache reemerged:

Car trouble.

I spent $1,226.79 on my vehicle in July, not including gas.

A new set of tires. An overdue oil change. A pair of wiper blades. A deductible for damage road debris caused to my front end. Then there was the rental car I needed while the body shop worked on my vehicle.

That cost another $82.12.

And because July apparently needed one more auto-related expense, I paid $31 for a new license with my new address.

My bank account felt every charge.

Then there’s food.

Here’s where I have less room for excuses.

Food and drink tied automotive as my second-highest spending category, accounting for 17 percent of my July spending.

That’s the high mark this year.

I love good food, y’all!

A work trip to New York contributed. I paid roughly $350 out of pocket for expenses that I’ll recoup through reimbursement. So there’s some relief coming.

But reimbursement doesn’t change the lesson — I’m spending too much on food and drink.

That’s a problem because this is a category I can control.

I can’t control worn tires. I can’t control road debris. I can’t control a roof leak or every legal bill that lands in my inbox.

But I can decide whether I’m going out to eat or making something at home.

Right now, those decisions matter.

I need to sit down, continue focusing on increasing my income and being a good steward of what arrives.

That’s it.

Just the basics.

It’s stripping me down to my bones at a time when I feel like I’ve come so far and accomplished so much.

I bought a home. I’m fighting for something better. I’m working. I’m building.

And yet, I’m watching my money disappear faster than I can replenish it.

That’s a hard reality to sit with.

But maybe that’s exactly what I need.

I know how to revert to the basics to persevere. I’ve built habits, like this very column, that force me to look at the numbers and understand where every dollar is going.

That awareness gives me a chance to do something about it.

I know what it feels like to tighten the belt, get focused and redirect.

I’ve done it before. And that’s where I am now.

So as I look at another month of spending, I’m left with the same question hanging over me.

When will it end?

I still don’t know.

But I know what I need to do until it does.

Get back to the basics.

Earn more. Spend less. Track every dollar.

And keep putting one foot in front of the other.