To my precious Parker: Don't let yesterday decide tomorrow

What's ahead matters more than what's behind.

Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

On this day 15 years ago, everything felt possible.

Inside the same sanctuary that has become your church home, I stood at an altar and promised forever.

It was the day I married your mother.

I remember the light filtering through the stained glass, the nerves and the vows spoken with every intention. I remember the hope that filled the room, a shared belief that we were building something lasting.

And for a while, we were.

But life, as you’ll learn, doesn’t always unfold the way we expect. Promises meet pressure. Dreams collide with reality. And sometimes, love changes in ways you don’t see coming.

What began with so much promise slowly unraveled in ways I didn’t anticipate — and couldn’t fully understand at the time. The dreamy future we envisioned gave way to a reality defined by disappointment.

For a time, I saw that as failure. I carried it like one. But over the years, I’ve come to see it differently: not as something irreparably broken, but as something that simply reached its end. And sometimes, accepting that is its own kind of growth.

I’ve written before about the cost of divorce, how it forces a hard financial reset and reshapes everything you thought was secure. But I haven’t shared much about the mental toll, or how long it can take to regain your footing. To trust in possibility again after something you once believed in shatters.

Adjusting to a future you didn’t choose is one of the hardest things to do. There’s a quiet grief in watching the life you pictured slip out of reach, with no clear map to guide you forward.

It can take years to move on, and the truth is, some never fully do.

Parker, here’s what I want you to know: The past, no matter how defining it feels, doesn’t get to choose your future. You do. The end of one chapter is always the beginning of another.

You can honor where you’ve been without being ruled by it.

Your past will shape you, helping you see what’s worth holding onto and what’s better left behind. It will be your teacher, offering strength, perspective and the resolve to move forward with the wisdom you’ve gained.

Just don’t let old wounds write your next page. Let the past inform your present, but never allow it to control what’s still possible.