This dad's off the market

My next great investment.

This is not me or my lady friend Triest. I do not know these people. Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” — African proverb

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We matched on a popular online dating app on Aug. 18, 2021.

For the next two weeks, we exchanged messages and enjoyed captivating telephone conversations before life opened a window for us to meet.

The day finally arrived on Sept. 2, 2021, a Thursday. I was six minutes late for our 11 a.m. appointment. But she was too, not that time mattered. On our first date, it stood still.

We met at a quaint cafe in the heart of Chicago’s historic Hyde Park neighborhood. It was a picturesque, late-summer day so we dined on the back patio. I got pelted with acorns every few minutes thanks to overzealous squirrels raiding an overhanging oak tree. They frustrated me, but I didn’t care after seeing the comedy it provided for my plus-one.

We haven’t stopped laughing together yet, and we never plan to.

Her name is Triest (Tree-Est).

Longtime readers of Money Talks know that I refer to her as my lady friend —  because she’s a woman, not a girl. She’s also without question my best friend.

We started slowly, preferring to maintain our independence early on. Neither of us sought a partner. Our interests were in finding someone cool with whom we could spend occasional free time.

But each encounter felt like a natural fit, and it wasn’t long before we grew tired of settling for sporadic moments of joy.

A text between me and Triest shortly after our first date on Sept. 2, 2021.

I had dated enough following my divorce to know the hidden gem I’d discovered. Quantity helped me to quickly recognize quality. And when you find a good thing, you hold on tight.

And so on July 24, I moved Triest and her daughter, Tiffany, in with me and my daughter Parker. We’ve committed to raising our girls together and building a family.

It was the next logical step for a woman I love with all my heart.

Since that first day we met, Triest has reserved the utmost respect and honor for me. She’s a wonderful mother, who possesses incredible patience, and has been the perfect bonus mom to Parker.

She’s honest, loving, kind, thoughtful and genuine. She’s loyal, smart, funny and down to earth. She’s the strongest, most resilient person I’ve ever met, and yet she remains supportive beyond belief.

Triest is a wonderful woman, beauty personified inside and out. She’s the only person I want to spend my days and nights with.

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I fumbled my first chance at a family. We’re still feeling the effects from a broken home today. But I’m determined to provide Parker and Tiffany with a loving environment, and now they’ll both experience what I never did by growing up in a two-parent home.

I’d prefer for you to be married before moving in with your partner, Parker. It’s the way me and your mother did it. But we were much younger and, regrettably, that approach didn’t assist us in staying together. I’m significantly stronger, wiser, more established and more stable now than I was 15 years ago. I’m better equipped to handle all that I’m signing up for.

But in Triest, I’ve got the ideal match. She believes in me and my mission and plays a huge role in my vision. I’m better in virtually every way with her by my side. She’ll help me to build all that I’m capable of and more. Her property management experience is a big reason I feel comfortable venturing into the complex world of Chicago real estate, a key component of our wealth-building and wealth-preservation plans.

The move isn’t what I anticipated financially. Life sometimes throws you a curveball. But I view temporary challenges as a test of my faith in my vision. And I’m not built to duck or dodge, budge or back out on my responsibilities in any way. I’m standing on this like a flamingo.

It’s the ultimate investment.

With it, my monthly expenses are about to change. I believe for the better. But one month in, I can’t believe how fast toilet paper and hand soap disappear in our home now. I’m still adjusting.

My credit card statement for August shows I spent only $229.74 more than I did in August 2023. I paid several hundred dollars for a conference we’re attending as a family in October, and still it was my lowest month of spending since August 2023.

I don’t believe that to be a coincidence.

Toilet paper might be in short supply, but moving in with my partner and best friend already has been tremendously beneficial. I didn’t see this day coming. I was minding my business.

But I’ve graduated from being a scared single man who is too focused on the perceived pressure of starting a family to see all the perks. No longer am I allowing failure to prohibit me from trying again.

Family is the greatest gift any of us can have.

And with Triest by my side, I believe we can accomplish anything.