Do you want to be rich?
She said no, and I can't stop thinking about what she meant.
A work trip pulled me to Memphis last week, and I didn’t want to go.
It fell on my weekend with Parker, forcing me to violate the terms of our motto.
“Don’t let anything or anyone interrupt our relationship.”
Our time together is too precious. Our bond is rare, real and, I truly believe, lifelong. These are the years we’ll never get back. That’s why I guard every shared moment like it’s gold.
So when duty called, I felt like a walking, preaching contradiction.
For the past three years, I’ve told Parker to resist the rat race. To follow her heart. To build a life on her terms, not one shaped by noise, pressure or someone else’s expectations.
And yet there I was, doing the very thing I’ve warned her against: trading our time for money.
To make it worse, the trip took me right back to the same city I was in last year, when work kept me from the annual daddy-daughter dance.
I hope my absence last week becomes more than a letdown. I hope Parker carries it as a quiet lesson — a reminder that she never has to leave her children for work, if she builds a life that doesn’t force her to choose.
By the time I stepped up to the counter at the dimly lit Flying Fish in downtown Memphis last Friday afternoon, I was fully lost in the weight of my decision.
It was 2 p.m. I should have been en route to retrieve Parker from school, not ordering the four-piece shrimp and two-piece catfish combo.
My mind was swirling with thoughts of Parker, the time I had sacrificed and what my choice might mean. It felt like a fog that I couldn’t shake.
I wondered whether Parker would see me as a fraud. As much as I tried to explain the emergency trip, she had every right to give me and our daily motto the side-eye.
Then, Hanna’s voice cut through from behind the register.
“Money Talks — is that your clothing brand?” she asked.
“Not yet,” I said, smiling.
I told her Money Talks is a blog, newsletter and podcast I started with my daughter. It’s our way of learning together how to be smart with money. How to build something meaningful. Essentially, how to grow rich.
That’s when Hanna said something I hadn’t heard in a long time.
“I don’t want to be rich,” she said.
Her words stopped me.
Everyone defines “rich” in their own way. Some see it in dollar signs. Others feel it in time, memories, moments and meaning: things money can’t always buy.
But I can’t remember the last time an adult had the audacity to admit they didn’t want to be rich at all.
After my initial shock, I thought back to some of the early lessons I learned on my personal finance journey, specifically about our money scripts.
We all have them: quiet, often unspoken beliefs about money that take root in childhood.
Some of us grow up believing money is security. Others see money as power, status, guilt or even shame.
I realized in that moment that Hanna was instinctively clinging to a script. I just didn’t know which one, although she quickly dismissed the word “rich” like a sore subject.
My gut told me Hanna might be following the money avoidance script. Her reaction tracked with the belief that rich people are greedy, money corrupts or that there’s virtue in having less.
But then again, maybe Hanna’s script wasn’t money avoidance but rather avoiding the trap. Perhaps she didn’t want to be rich if it meant losing herself in the process.
Originally from the Northeast, Hanna told me she moved to Memphis to live out her dreams as a server at Coyote Ugly.
“Ten years and three kids later, here I am,” she said, laughing.
With only a handful of patrons inside the spacious Flying Fish, I invited Hanna to sit and chat more with me about her money mindset as I waited for my fish and shrimp.
She offered a polite smile and declined, busying herself with rearranging the condiment holders on nearby tables.
Just then, the front door swung open, and three more parties stepped inside.
Hanna had work to do.
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I love this article. Here's my biggest takeaway: "A reminder that she never has to leave her children for work, if she build a life that doesn't force her to choose"