An evening with Ella Mai

Make room for life and love.

I hadn’t planned on seeing Ella Mai this summer.

Truthfully, I hadn’t planned on seeing much of anybody.

I’ve written before that I’m not much of a concertgoer anymore. Somewhere along the way, live music became one of those things I figured I’d get back to eventually. There was always something else to do. Something else to handle. Something else that felt more important in the moment.

Then, sometime in May, a woman I’m dating made a suggestion.

“We should go see Ella Mai.”

She had some nerve.

We hadn’t been dating very long, but she shot her shot.

And she swished it.

I bought the tickets on June 3.

The funny thing is, I didn’t buy them because she asked. I bought them because I wanted to go. She just happened to be in position to benefit.

Ella Mai has been in my rotation for years. The Grammy-winning R&B singer broke through with 2018 hits like “Boo’d Up,” “Trip” and “Shot Clock,” followed by “DFMU” and “Little Things.” After a three-year hiatus, she returned to the road with her “Do You Still Love Me?” tour.

Her Chicago stop was at The Salt Shed, a venue I had never visited.

By the time Friday arrived, I had no idea what kind of night it would become.

The weeks leading up to it had been a lot: car trouble and an emergency situation at home — the kinds of things that have a way of rearranging even the best-laid plans.

Friday was no different.

I had to facilitate Parker’s transition in the suburbs, which was scheduled for 6 p.m. The show started at 7. After that, I still had to pick up my date on the South Side before making the drive to the North Side.

There was no chance we were getting there on time.

We walked into The Salt Shed around 8:30.

Ella Mai had already taken the stage, but she couldn’t have been more than a few songs into her set. She was already locked in. So was the crowd.

The place was packed.

The night was beautiful.

And with the Chicago skyline behind the stage, it was easy to understand why people had shown up.

Ella Mai has always stood out to me because of the way she carries herself. Her music has always centered on love, but so has the energy she brings with it. There’s a gentleness there that feels rare in an industry that often rewards the opposite.

She showed that late in the set when she stopped the show for roughly 10 minutes after noticing attendees who needed medical attention. There was no rushing through it. No trying to get back to the next song. She waited until people were taken care of.

That moment stayed with me.

Maybe part of it is because she’s a Scorpio like me, born one day after me — although she’s more than a decade younger.

But mostly, I appreciate that she has remained herself. She hasn’t needed to lean into stereotypes to sell music.

As a girl dad, I notice those things.

I appreciate artists who can show young women that strength and confidence don’t have to come at the expense of kindness, humility or authenticity.

When I walked out of The Salt Shed on Friday night, I wasn’t thinking about the tickets I bought on June 3.

I was thinking about the fact that, despite everything that happened between buying those tickets and walking through the gates, I still ended up having the night I hoped I would have.

A night filled with music, good company and a rare moment where I wasn’t thinking about the next thing on my list.